Starr -- it's me. You have been remarkably calm in the aftermath of your political loss. Quite mature of you, actually, and to think that I had feared the worst.
I wanted to express my congratulations regarding your good behavior. A sentiment I express both as your employer, and your acquaintance.
[ Starr doesn't comment about anything else, almost pretending as though it never happened. Or maybe he's distracted. There are some unmistakable sounds in the background. A few guttural grunts, moans, and slaps. He's definitely watching something. ]
No, there is not. And believe me, I am equally displeased by her presence. I've expressed such concerns to Dr. Chilton, but let it be known Dr. Chilton will sometimes not listen to reason.
[ Or maybe Starr's being the unreasonable one. But that's up for debate! ]
I have never performed a lobotomy before, so I cannot promise he would survive the procedure. But I am not opposed to reading some DIYs and making the attempt if it is your wish.
[ There is a long suffering sigh. He's gotten it from the other end as well. ]
I did not sic Chilton on you. All that happened was he made some sexualized comment to me regarding you, so I said 'I assume you saw the tape, then.' He had not, so I offered no further explanation. Furthermore, why are you both accusing me of being responsible for your own disagreement?
[ Is it a jealousy thing? Is he in the middle of a weird love triangle??? Can he get a threesome out of it if so?!?! ]
Sometime toward the end of August, Herr Starr will find an elegantly arranged gift basket hand-delivered to him by courier. Within is a tasteful array of artisan snacks and candies; a fine bottle of wine or liquor, or perhaps some gourmet coffee instead; a handcrafted white leather flogger (which one can only assume is unique to Starr's basket); and a black leather envelope clutch containing vouchers for various high end restaurants, theaters, entertainment venues, and spas around Maurtia Falls. In fact, everything down to the very basket itself seem to have been manufactured in Maurtia Falls.
A handwritten card accompanies the gifts. It reads:
"Maurtia Falls deserves to be celebrated for the incredible achievements it is already home to. If you believe that imPorts should play our part in elevating one of our Porter cities beyond its reputation, then Logan Delos is the ambassadorial candidate most deserving of your vote."
It's finished with Logan's scrawling signature, and contact information for his campaign, should anyone want to get in touch with him.
[ Shortly after Starr's return, he will come to work to find something new on his desk. It is a small clay pot, not very skillfully made but by golly she did her best and just the right size to hold pencils and such.
Also, it definitely, definitely, definitely looks like a penis.
The card attached reads "Welcome back! ♥" and isn't signed, but it doesn't take the World's Greatest Detective to figure out who on the staff would write with big curly loops in glitter gel pen. ]
[ When Starr gets into work after taking a few days to recuperate (and try and locate Woden....to no avail), he does so already irritated -- wearing a white beanie. He doesn't even notice the clay pot immediately, first settling at his desk. Next turning on his computer. And only then does he catch sight of it.
Starr looks at the pot. The pot looks back at him. Starr looks at the pot, tilting his head. It is definitely a dick.
The anger is nearly instant and with a sharp breath of rage -- he shoves his whole damn desk over. Was Chilton telling everyone? Were they all mocking him???? Who does he murder first!!! ]
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When you return, we'll be busy the rest of the month catching up on things.
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I wanted to express my congratulations regarding your good behavior. A sentiment I express both as your employer, and your acquaintance.
[But mostly as your employer.]
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[ Starr doesn't comment about anything else, almost pretending as though it never happened. Or maybe he's distracted. There are some unmistakable sounds in the background. A few guttural grunts, moans, and slaps. He's definitely watching something. ]
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[ Please don't be a puberty question. Please don't be a puberty question. ]
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Mid April 2018 -- voice
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[ One of these days Chilton will say "without." Starr is sure of it!! ]
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[ Or maybe Starr's being the unreasonable one. But that's up for debate! ]
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drunk dial
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I did not sic Chilton on you. All that happened was he made some sexualized comment to me regarding you, so I said 'I assume you saw the tape, then.' He had not, so I offered no further explanation. Furthermore, why are you both accusing me of being responsible for your own disagreement?
[ Is it a jealousy thing? Is he in the middle of a weird love triangle??? Can he get a threesome out of it if so?!?! ]
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[ While Starr is thrilled at the chance to help Tate, well...his advice might leave something to be desired. ]
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Hahaha. No doubt this really speaks to you.
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Are you sending me memes.
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-call-
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Starr speaking.
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courier;
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[ Like electrostimulation. ]
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Call
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What happened to you?
[ No hello. No how are you. He's diving right into the difficult questions. ]
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I can't be assed to write a log for this
Also, it definitely, definitely, definitely looks like a penis.
The card attached reads "Welcome back! ♥" and isn't signed, but it doesn't take the World's Greatest Detective to figure out who on the staff would write with big curly loops in glitter gel pen. ]
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Starr looks at the pot. The pot looks back at him. Starr looks at the pot, tilting his head. It is definitely a dick.
The anger is nearly instant and with a sharp breath of rage -- he shoves his whole damn desk over. Was Chilton telling everyone? Were they all mocking him???? Who does he murder first!!! ]
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How frequently should I be checking in with you?
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At least twice. Daily.
More if you are planning on doing anything untoward.
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early October
Perhaps you were right about Cassidy after all.
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[ But Starr opts to keep the accusation out of his voice. The part where he accuses Chilton of not believing him. Instead: ]
What has he done? I can easily have him murdered.
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